Well isn’t North Korea just the pipsqueak in the room wearing fluorescent yellow from head to toe and holding a homemade poster-board-and-black-Sharpie-marker-crafted sign demanding “LOOK OVER HERE!”

Whoop dee doo.

Little Kim Wrong Urn — or whatever his name is — sticks out like the scurrying, er, swaggering bully in the office. You just want to rip off the hair he has fastened with Scotch tape to his tail and declare, “See? You’re a filthy little rat trying to pose as a squirrel, and you ain’t a’foolin’ nobody. Scram!”

He’s also reminiscent of the boss you had years ago who actually believed he had a handle on what went on in that workplace. He (or she) walked around as if he knew what he was doing while everyone else got the work done. You might even be tempted to pat him on the head, he’s so cute — thinking he knows what he’s doing.

How quaint!

I know: It’s hard not to stare at such incompetence, or such laughable bluster, or such ridiculous attention-getting behavior. But, seriously, the United States needs to glance North Korea’s way, snort with derision, add a scoff for good measure and just move on.

Crawl back in your hole, you little pissant.

The saber-rattling of late by (I’m guessing) 12-year-old Kim Jong Un and his regime reminds me of someone with a tattoo on his face, or multiple piercings that are over the top, or a mohawk, or purple hair. Wouldn’t it be easier just to buy a T-shirt that says “Pay attention to me!”?

North Korea just wants to be in the spotlight. They must be bored. It goes without saying that our military keeps an eye on them — and yet, I just said it…go figure — but beyond that, ignore them.

Oh, I know: “What if they launch a missile?” If it goes into the ocean, call the ASPCA, Whale Division. Then go back to a global discussion about toenail fungus or something more pressing. “What if they launch a missile and it hits Japan or Guam or South Korea and people get killed?” Then retaliate accordingly. “What if they launch a nuclear bomb?” Then we’ll see if radiation can help us grow 12 ears of corn from one stalk and feed the whole world.

Until then, chill.

No, of course I’m not that flippant about nuclear war or any war. But I’m sick of little dictators (emphasis on first syllable of that last word, just ’cause I’m a grouch today) stirring up nonsense with their blabber. And I’m even more tired of us falling for it.

Kim Jong Un isn’t any different than any other bully. They bluster, they spout, and as soon as you get tired of it, stand up, and say, “SHUT UP,” they scurry back to their nasty little hole in the ground and cower.

This is reminiscent of ol’ Saddam Hussein. He was mostly hot air, but “we” (not all of us) fell for it and went to war. Some of us were against it from the start: After all, why unseat that evil dictator and not every other one around the world? That may be water under the bridge, but there are lessons to be learned.

God bless our troops for giving their all no matter where a bunch of idiot politicians send them. I couldn’t do it. Our military folks and their families are amazing. My hat’s off to them.

It’s my mittens, though — so you can see the gesture I’m making — that are off to North Korea’s dictatorship and every other bully like them. You’re wasting our time. What we should be focused on is how many people around the globe don’t have enough to eat. We ought to be solving problems like the lack of decent drinking water for much of the world’s population.

How about the sinfully uneven distribution of resources such as food on our planet? Anyone get riled for the epidemic of poor education that plagues this society?

I guess those issues aren’t as snazzy as the idea of a big bomb in the sky.

I think much of humanity these days must thrive on drama. “NORTH KOREA MAY TEST MULTIPLE MISSILES” blares one headline this week. Well, my neighbor “may” pull out a Civil War cannon and take out the little old lady across the street, too, but I’m not posted by my front window waiting to see it. I got better things to do.

I’m sure it’s a combination of 24-hour news media trying to pull in viewers, and politicians scrambling to some way, any way, make a headline, but we all seem to hopscotch from one “crisis” or “outrage” to another.

The government wants to take all our guns! The “evil” conservatives want to force everyone to be Christian!! Another nutcase attacked a gym full of bunny rabbits and cut off all their ears to use to make himself a belt!!!

Are you excited, scared, worried and interested yet?!

North Korea sees this and has to get into the action. “Kim Jong Un has his finger on the red button!” a news flash might read. “The DPRK (North Korea’s real name, “Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea” — funny name for a dictatorship) starts new exercise program of troops parading up and down the streets in a menacing fashion!”

Maybe even, “Anonymous source: As kindergartner, Kim Jong Un drew a picture of a missile being launched at his grade school! Experts sure this means he has aggressive dislike of mathematics! What that means for the US ... tune in at 10!”

OK, I some of made those up, but you get the point.

Perhaps we’re overlooking the simple solution to the annoying pipsqueak of the Eastern Hemisphere. Maybe someone just needs to send some letters to Kim Jong Un with lots of XXXs and OOOs so that he gets the attention he needs. I bet the guy is cranky ’cause he hasn’t had enough hugs lately.

Or maybe he should just get a puppy, or a kitten — they’ll play with anyone.

Meanwhile, let’s go mushroom hunting. There’s sure to be some new drama in the world when we get back.

(18) comments

Time Lord
Time Lord

News Flash: PYONGYAN, North Korea; Genocidal imperialist warmongering forces in the US are now conducting search and destroy missions on peace loving Morels who have fled to the US countryside to avoid persecution. This dastardly atrocity is condemned in the strongest possible terms by the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea's National Hero, Kim Jong Un.

gringa
gringa

62 YEARS AGO TODAY,Truman fired MacArthur because Mac wanted victory over communism. A few months later, Truman was backing down from the Soviets and Chinese and inviting them to make peace. Before a treaty was signed two years later, a total of 5,000,000 people had died; almost 40,000 of them were American troops.

Truman should have nuked Kim Il-sung on June 25, 1950. 'Vietnam' probably wouldn't have happened, and we certainly wouldn't be worried about the inbred grandson today.

heavyweight
heavyweight

this letter pretty well sums it up. the guy can't be all bad though, i mean...he likes Crown Royal and attractive women.

gringa
gringa

Ha, yeah, and probably in that order.

Hary P
Hary P

Under Bush we heard: unless you blindly follow our government you're treasonous.

Under Obama we hear: we need guns to fight the government if it comes to that.

What a difference a change in administrations makes.

jrhendren
jrhendren

Of course you leave out under Obama it is your Constitutional rights don't matter give us your guns, you can't eat or drink that because we say so, and it's torture unless we are doing it. We also get to hear ignore the non-Congressional attacks I make on foreign nations, and Bengazi never happened. Then from all Liberal talking points, BLAME BUSH!!! He hasn't been President for 5 years, and Obama got everything he wanted his first four years but still BLAME BUSH!!!

Hary P
Hary P

Before the weeks over, Fox news will be blaming the president for the Boston tragedy. The weasel eyed Hannity is probably holed up in his office working on it. Anyone wanna bet on it?

Time Lord
Time Lord

How will they do that? Will they claim that Obama posted a YouTube Video that upset the bombers?


Congratulations on being the first on this site to put a political spin on the tragedy.

Hary P
Hary P

Apparently you haven't been listening to talk radio today. I noticed you didn't take me up on my offer to bet.. Why was that?

Time Lord
Time Lord

I'd have to take your word on what FOX was saying, and we know how good that is.

Hary P
Hary P

Time Lord - I'd have to take your word on what FOX was saying, and we know how good that is.

You need to contact the Guinness records folks. A Republican that's not a big Fox fan?

Hary P
Hary P

Thank you, and may I pass on congratulations to you too. Looking at your profile all but one of your recent comments have been addressed to me. Try a little harder and you might be able to achieve a 100% Hary Potter rating. Rosie won't have anything on you then. LOL!

legal citizen
legal citizen

I agree w/you Hary except for the Fox news.
Spin it anyway, anyhow. (Who song).
Obama at least stood ground today. That's his job.
Bush had nothing to do with this tragedy or 911 if we play by the same information.
There are insane people world-wide with agendas.

Hary P
Hary P

I listened to Rush Sleazeball for a short time yesterday and he was doing the Shelby county spin in an effort to tie this event to the president. Old Blubber boy even brought back some 2008 GOP talking points about Bill Ayers. Didn't catch the angry little guy on Fox, but I'm pretty sure he was doing a similar spin job.

heavyweight
heavyweight

"Rush Sleazeball" ..."weasel eyed Hannity". hey... are you a member of the "party of tolerance"?

btw...what do weasel's eyes look like?

Hary P
Hary P

Unlike the Shelby county Dynamic Duo, I don't claim to know everything, but I suspect this was the work of domestic (ala Timothy McVeigh) terrorists. Their numbers have grown tremendously during Obama's tenure.

Hary P
Hary P

One thing that requires ongoing vigilance is the reality that the state of Texas is coming under a new assault, an assault far more dangerous than what the leader of North Korea threatened when he said he was going to add Austin, Texas, as one of the recipients of his nuclear weapons,” Abbott said. “The threat that we’re getting is the threat from the Obama administration and his political machine.
-Texas attorney general

Looks like the polls have the Texas Goopers worried.

Hary P
Hary P

Today the United States Senate voted against the wishes of 90 percent of it's citizens, favoring instead the wishes of a very small but vocal minority and a powerful special interest lobby. A sad day for America.

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